Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Rocks in My Dryer

I love this blog. Shannon is so insightful and very funny. I was reading today's post and it really struck a chord with me. Click here to read. Nicholas and Julia are exactly one year and 18 days apart. Those days when they were little were so so hard and many days I would just fall into bed (or the closest couch) and just collapse. I would pray they would just sleep so I could rest for a moment. Then along came Gianna when N&J were only two and three years old. It does get easier but still they are all so needy. The only "me" time I get is maybe four nights a week after they go to bed (I work the other three nights from home) for maybe an hour a two. So that totals about eight hours a week. That's it. Of course I'm also on call during that time as well. OK...I'm really not complaining...maybe just whining a bit. It's just so nice to hear someone actually validate what I am feeling. So a big THANK YOU to Shannon!!!

Kindergarten Registration

I just got home from registering Nicholas for public kindergarten next year. I actually felt sick to my stomach while I was filling out the school forms. Just this morning I totally "get" why parents send their kids to private school. I'm so sad that he will be leaving the security of his preschool environment. He is in a safe little cocoon right now . I feel as if I'm going to be sending him off into the jungle to fend for himself from now on. OK, I'm being dramatic but I'm so nervous for him...and for me.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Wordless Wednesday


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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Wordless Wednesday



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Little Miss Sunshine

Mae Mae is my ray of light every day. She is simply beyond cute. In this picture she is enjoying some Dunkin' munchkins. Every day is a fun day for her. She loves Nicholas and Julia and has no idea that she is only one. She just wants to keep up with them. She can already "count" to twenty if just a bit out of order and knows some shapes. She amazes me everyday.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Anxiety

2006 was a very rough year for me personally. I'm so glad to see it go. It was a series of wakes and funerals for me.

1) My father-in-law died of cancer (November 2005).
2) My best friend lost her Dad to cancer.
3) A week later that same best friend lost her cousin to a massive heart attack. She was only in her thirties and had two small children. This totally freaked me out.
4) My cousin's husband committed suicide. They have a little girl the same age as my Julia, three-years-old at the time.
5) Two close friends lost grandparents.
6) My step-mother lost her mother.
7) My aunt was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer and died very soon after her diagnosis.

Then my Dad had two operations on his back and he continues to battle his multiple myeloma. He is in remission as we speak but there is no cure.

I wish I wasn't so fearful of death. I'm always so afraid of losing someone I love. Last year I was so freaked out by everything I went to the doctor and was put on a medication for my anxiety and panic attacks.

Overall I am feeling much better and more in control. I feel a lot stronger and refuse to live my life in fear of things I cannot control. So I have chosen to stop my medication. We'll see how it goes.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Kissing


Kissing ~ Sunday Scribblings

Nicholas kissing a new life about to come into the world. He had quite a fascination with my belly when I was pregnant with Gianna. He would be very protective of me when I would get uncomfortable with the many jabs and pokes Gianna would give me. He would open my mouth and yell inside, "Baby...stop hurting Mama"! Nicholas adores his baby sister who is now almost two years old.

Kisses...sticky, sloppy and sweet from my little ones. Simply the best kiss there is.