Friday, August 31, 2007

Exploring

video

The summer is winding down and Nicholas and Julia are off to school in five days. I'm sad to see the summer end but I am so happy to get the kids back into a routine and let someone else take care of them for a while. Does that sound selfish?

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Desiderata

I can't tell you how many times throughout my days I am reminded of these words. It is a life worth of lessons in one poem.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

~ Max Ehrmann

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Happy 5th Birthday to my mini me

She is me...everything from the way she looks, thinks, eats, personality, likes, dislikes is me. I can get into her head and know exactly what she is thinking and feeling. Hopefully this will help me when she reaches the crazy teenage years. At least I hope so!

Here are some of my favorite pictures of her. Happy birthday to my beautiful baby girl with the prettiest smile!







Saturday, August 25, 2007

Green with envy

Envy is an emotion that occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and desires it.”

“The word jealous is often used to describe an envious state. In its correct usage, jealousy is the fear of losing something to another person (say a loved one) while envy is the pain or frustration caused by another person having something that one does not have oneself”.

And I thought all this time that jealousy was my nemesis when in fact it is envy. I don’t like feeling envious. In fact I hate those feelings. At least I’m aware of it. Isn’t that half the battle?

I see her at the town pool with her two really cute kids looking beautiful with her skinny body and nice clothes. Then I see her great looking husband and her beautiful new home. Then I hear about her close knit family and how she was this really great gymnast as a kid. Something I always wanted to be. Then she opens her mouth and she has this strange high pitched annoying voice and I think to myself “thank goodness there is something that isn’t perfect about her”. Finally, there is something that I can point to and call annoying. But still, I envy her.

I’m at my kid’s preschool and in walks those “moms”. You know the ones. They seem to have it all together. They are at school on time, being very patient with their children, not struggling to get their kids to behave or getting them to hang up their backpacks and coats in an orderly fashion. They arrive at school looking so “put together”, looking so cheery and cute at 9:00 a.m. I envy those women.

Then there are the parties. Endless parties in my neighborhood. I cringe at first when the invitations arrive. I don’t like being in crowds of people and especially crowds of people that I don’t necessarily know, all confined to one house where you feel cornered. Do they really care about what I have to say? That’s how I feel. I wonder what it must be like to be the host of one of those parties, to have that many friends to invite and the confidence to mingle with all of them. And how about those women that walks by a group of people chatting and just joins in on the conversation? I envy those women.

The bottom line is I'm not like those people. I have social anxiety. I have a hard time in crowds, and friendships take a long time to develop in my life. But I am who I am, and I have to accept that. Changing it would be working against who I am naturally. I have to learn that spending time wishing that I were like someone else who's different from me is a waste of time. I have to learn not to feel like I wish I were like someone else.

Self-acceptance…that’s what I need to work on.

Envy…that is what needs to go.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Party


The kids' party went well yesterday. Thirteen kids and not one problem. And the best part? Not that many presents! For some reason everyone got small, simple gifts. Nice!!!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Happy Birthday to me

Today is my birthday. So many birthdays in the month of August besides me like Nicholas and Julia and two of my closest girlfriends. So in honor of my birthday I'm eating some Boston baked beans, one of my favorite candy, that my sister gave to me yesterday. And it's only 10:00 a.m. Who cares, right?

Also for my birthday I bought tickets to SYTYCD. I'm so happy! We got fantastic seats right up front only about eight rows from the stage! I can't wait to see Danny up close and sweaty...mmmmmm. He's a major hotty. I really hope Hawk is part of the tour too. What a bummer that he was the last to leave the show right before the top ten. He is amazing. My guess is that he's probably an understudy so why not let him perform too?

Let's see...what else would I love to get for my birthday?

Here's my fantasy list:

1) ten pounds would magically dissolve off my body by the end of the day...I guess that would mean I have to stop eating my Boston baked beans though



2) Someone would hand me tickets to leave to Cancun, Mexico today for five days...all alone...all by myself...with a pile of books and magazines (this is where Danny and I stay when we go)



3) I would receive big, beautiful, sparkly diamond earrings to replace the stupid one I lost a few months ago


4) Then off course there's the wish for winning the lottery BIG.

But it's all a fantasy as I sit in my kitchen surrounded by three little, loud, fighting, whining children. Reality stinks sometimes.


Happy birthday to me.


Friday, August 10, 2007

Six years ago today

....our Nicholas was born. After years and years of waiting to have a baby he finally arrived. My best memory was the morning after he was born, the nurse came in the room with him to wake me up for his feeding. I was still so groggy from the night before that I had briefly forgotten that I had had a baby. He was making squeaky noises and he was so warm and cuddly. It is incredible how much he has filled our lives with joy. He is our sunshine and laughter each and every day.
One day old...

One year old...

Two years old...
Three years old...


Four years old...


Five years old...


And what he looks like today...


HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET BOY! WE LOVE YOU!!!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Quote of the day and more...

Tonight as Danny was putting Nicholas and Julia to bed they told him to tell me that I'm as "beautiful as a princess, a rainbow and a shooting star". How sweet are my babies?

Also, tonight was the second time in a week that Gianna pooped in the tub during her bath. At least last week she was in the tub alone but tonight she was in the tub with Julia. Talk about gross...I had to use a strainer to get it out, disinfect the tub, give them both another bath, toss the bath mat and wash clothes in the washing machine, toss all the toys in the dishwasher (and had to throw some away). Meanwhile, Gianna both times just stood there watching me do all this saying, "I didn't...I didn't...I didn't". Oh yes you did little one...yes you did. And it was gross!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Canobie Lake Park

We went back to Canobie Lake Park this summer because we had such a great time last year. And yet again we had a fantastic day. Ricky and Tyler are here visiting and came with us.

Uncle Ricky loves to spoil his Julia...

Here's Tyler with Nicholas...I really wish he could be here all the time.




Mae Mae got to enjoy the rides for the first time!

Nicholas and Ricky are in this picture somewhere...the splash from the ride was so huge! I'll try to post a video of the kids, Danny and Ricky on that ride (The Boston Tea Party) later.




We finished the day by going to the water park. I wasn't able to take any pictures because Gianna wouldn't let me put her down. It was very, very wet and loud there and she was a little nervous. We went to the Rainforest Cafe for dinner and then headed home. So fun!