Rocks in My Dryer

I love this blog. Shannon is so insightful and very funny. I was reading today's post and it really struck a chord with me. Click here to read. Nicholas and Julia are exactly one year and 18 days apart. Those days when they were little were so so hard and many days I would just fall into bed (or the closest couch) and just collapse. I would pray they would just sleep so I could rest for a moment. Then along came Gianna when N&J were only two and three years old. It does get easier but still they are all so needy. The only "me" time I get is maybe four nights a week after they go to bed (I work the other three nights from home) for maybe an hour a two. So that totals about eight hours a week. That's it. Of course I'm also on call during that time as well. OK...I'm really not complaining...maybe just whining a bit. It's just so nice to hear someone actually validate what I am feeling. So a big THANK YOU to Shannon!!!

Kindergarten Registration

I just got home from registering Nicholas for public kindergarten next year. I actually felt sick to my stomach while I was filling out the school forms. Just this morning I totally "get" why parents send their kids to private school. I'm so sad that he will be leaving the security of his preschool environment. He is in a safe little cocoon right now . I feel as if I'm going to be sending him off into the jungle to fend for himself from now on. OK, I'm being dramatic but I'm so nervous for him...and for me.

Wordless Wednesday

For more Wordless Wednesdays go here.

Wordless Wednesday

For more Wordless Wednesdays go here.

Little Miss Sunshine

Mae Mae is my ray of light every day. She is simply beyond cute. In this picture she is enjoying some Dunkin' munchkins. Every day is a fun day for her. She loves Nicholas and Julia and has no idea that she is only one. She just wants to keep up with them. She can already "count" to twenty if just a bit out of order and knows some shapes. She amazes me everyday.

Anxiety

2006 was a very rough year for me personally. I'm so glad to see it go. It was a series of wakes and funerals for me.

1) My father-in-law died of cancer (November 2005).
2) My best friend lost her Dad to cancer.
3) A week later that same best friend lost her cousin to a massive heart attack. She was only in her thirties and had two small children. This totally freaked me out.
4) My cousin's husband committed suicide. They have a little girl the same age as my Julia, three-years-old at the time.
5) Two close friends lost grandparents.
6) My step-mother lost her mother.
7) My aunt was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer and died very soon after her diagnosis.

Then my Dad had two operations on his back and he continues to battle his multiple myeloma. He is in remission as we speak but there is no cure.

I wish I wasn't so fearful of death. I'm always so afraid of losing someone I love. Last year I was so freaked out by everything I went to the doctor and was put on a medication for my anxiety and panic attacks.

Overall I am feeling much better and more in control. I feel a lot stronger and refuse to live my life in fear of things I cannot control. So I have chosen to stop my medication. We'll see how it goes.

Kissing

Kissing ~ Sunday Scribblings

Nicholas kissing a new life about to come into the world. He had quite a fascination with my belly when I was pregnant with Gianna. He would be very protective of me when I would get uncomfortable with the many jabs and pokes Gianna would give me. He would open my mouth and yell inside, "Baby...stop hurting Mama"! Nicholas adores his baby sister who is now almost two years old.

Kisses...sticky, sloppy and sweet from my little ones. Simply the best kiss there is.

2006 in review

The top 20 highlights (and lowlights) of 2006:

1) Saw Ricky Martin live in concert...simply fantastic!
2) My best friend, Patty, lost her Dad to cancer.
3) We bought the business from my Dad. We are officially small business owners.
4) Gianna talked ("hi") and walked (March 16th) for the first time all before turning one.
5) Gianna turned one on March 29th.
6) Gianna cuddled with me and said, "Mamamamama".
7) Dad had his back operated on so now he has some of his mobility back.
8) Danny & I went to Philly for a weekend without the kids.
9) My step-mother's mom died.
10) We discovered we had termites and how expensive it is to get rid of them.
11) We had the decking around the pool done over. I think they used diamonds for nails.
12) We were quite broke for the remainder of the summer.
13) My sister Kim married her best friend and partner, Paula. :)
14) My sweetest aunt, Dottie, died of inflammatory breast cancer.
15) Went to see Jimmy Buffett and had a BLAST!
16) My babies, Julia and Nicholas, turned 4 and 5 in August.
17) Nicholas started kindergarten and Julia started preschool.
18) We celebrated 13 years of marriage in September and are happier than ever.
19) Kerry and I went to "So you think you can dance" in Providence. So fun!
20) Celebrated Christmas with my family (except Ricky, Chieko and the kids). Everyone is still here and healthy for the most part. And for that I am grateful.

I'm looking forward to 2007 and hoping that it is a fun, yet uneventful, year.

My Little Blessings

Today was the Christmas program at Little Blessings. Julia got to hold a star during her play. And Nicholas was so grown up singing front and center for his program. After each program they sang Happy Birthday to Jesus and had cupcakes for snacks. I love Little Blessings.

La Salette - Festival of Lights

300,000 lights...

On the way to La Salette, Nicholas asked what exactly we were going to be doing there. Julia asked if there would be a jumparoo. (Ha!) When we told them we were going there to look at all the beautiful lights and to view the baby Jesus Nicholas said, "Oh...that is going to be soooo boring!". Oh my goodness.

We lit a candle for Danny's dad and said a quiet prayer for him. He has been gone now for just over a year. I also thought of my grandparents and how much I miss them, especially at this time of the year.

It was just so beautiful. The pictures I took simply do not do it justice.

Getting ready for Santa

I absolutely love this time of the year. My kids are so excited for Christmas and are at the best age for it. Everything is so magical for them. We went to the "North Pole" on Sunday for a Polar Express event. They really and truly believed they were going to the North Pole that day. I told them I would push the red button on my dashboard to make the car go extra fast for the long drive to the North Pole. (We were only going a few towns away for a fifteen minute drive.) I yelled, "Hang on tight!" and they squealed in delight at how "fast" we were going. The look on their faces when we arrived was priceless. The event was held in a huge white, heated tent with lots of lights. Inside were all kinds of kid's activities and cart fulls of penny candy. They loaded up our stroller with tootsie rolls and lollypops. After about a half hour, before Santa even arrived, they were exhausted and asked if they could go home. Oh well. The magic only lasts for so long I guess!

Maybe next year

Here is a recent picture of Tyler, Justin and Zachary. They are the adorable offspring of my wonderfully funny and loveable brother, Ricky. I miss them all so much. I got to see Ricky in October but I haven't seen his kids in almost a year. I wish I was more spontaneous to just book a trip to seem them. They live in Florida for goodness sake! What is wrong with me?!? And not only that, my brother works for Universal Studios so we're talkin' free...FREE...passes to Universal and Disney!! So what holds me back from buying a ticket? Just the logistics to me is a nightmare. Packing? Three little ones in tow? Maybe next year. That's what I always say. And yet another year goes by and that is another year I lose out on really getting to know the boys. I so wish they lived closer. I would love to help take care of them. Wipe their little noses. Cuddle them. Play with them. Just spoil them like a good auntie should. I love my sweet sister-in-law Chieko. It would be great to have that extended family support system around. But once again I will say maybe next year...

The flu shot

Poor Nicholas. He had to go to the doctor today for his flu shot. He literally wailed when I told him. He tried to be brave but ended up in tears as usual. I told him we would go to the store afterwards so he could buy some candy. He chose Mentos. When we got home he asked me to wrap his arm in an ace bandage. Then he took toilet paper and wrapped it around his neck and made a sling. He left it like that for the rest of the day. I guess it made him feel better. Now we can only hope that he doesn't get sick this winter!!!

Feast Day

Yesterday was Feast Day at Little Blessings. When I asked Nicholas what he was going to dress up as, he told me he was going to be a chicken. (He actually meant to say turkey.) I love Little Blessings. The school does amazing work with the children. They were all so well behaved and polite and we're talking about over 50 children all in one room!

I love my babies!!!

Quote of the day

Nicholas said, "Mom, you are so beautiful. Just like a star." Oh my wonderful, handsome, smart baby boy. I love him to pieces.

November...twenty years ago

Dean Hall, Dean College

It was the best of times...it was the worst of times.

It seems like a lifetime ago when I lived away at college. This time of year always brings back so many wonderful memories as well as painful ones too. It was a time when I was settling in at a new school, getting to know my new roommates, and making new friends. Also memories of the year that followed when I was headed back to school to the familiar surroundings and friends. I practically lived outside in the beautiful weather soaking up the sun in between classes, playing flag football, cheering on my boyfriend as he played lacrosse, and just hanging out on the wall with everyone in the courtyard between the dorms. I felt so free and independent back then.

I remember this guy coming back to campus to visit some friends and telling us to enjoy our time there because soon we would be out in the real world. At the time I remember thinking that I had seven months left until graduation. Seven months! It seemed like an eternity back then. Now seven months goes by in a flash!

College is where I fell in love and had my heart broken. It was where I had some of the best laughs of my life and some of the saddest cries too.

I miss those carefree times when the days, weeks, and months passed at a snail's pace and I felt so safe in that small campus environment with friends all around me. November. A lifetime ago.

So you think you can dance?

My sister Kerry and I went to see this show Sunday night in Providence and it was AWESOME!! My favs were Ivan and Allison. (OK, I know I sound like a teenager but it was so much fun!) I'm so glad I went with Kerry because we both share the same passion and love for dance.

Hopefully my little girls will love dance as much as me and their wonderfully artistic Auntie.

One wish

Finally, my Dad is feeling better. He is such a trooper. With all his aches and pains and all the treatments he has to endure he hardly ever complains.

My dad is so loving, kind, and generous. I enjoy every minute I have with him and don't take one minute for granted.

If I had one wish I would take away all his aches and pains for good.

I love you Dad.

My wonderful family

No one makes me laugh the way my brother and sisters do. Why is it that we regress to childhood when we are all together?

Love lasts

Eighteen years ago today was our first date. I remember not being too crazy about the date because some other guy just dumped me. How funny to think back on that now. And to think that I almost decided to end it after a few dates but then tragically his mother passed away. I stayed with him through those hard times and that is when I fell in love with him.