I've been trying to figure out why this year it doesn't "feel" like Christmas to me. Maybe it's the weather...although it's getting very, very cold and feels like it's going to snow. But it's not. The tree is up...the house is decorated...I have little white and colored Christmas lights in every room. But still, it doesn't "feel" like Christmas to me. Maybe it's because I have a little hole in my heart. I'm missing my Dad. I wish he could have stayed with us forever. But life doesn't work that way, does it? I also have two friends who were recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Both are healthy, young mothers. It just knocked the wind out of me. So maybe that's why it's hard for my mind to really embrace Christmas this year. But I will say that throughout the day, I still smile. I smile just thinking about all I have. I smile about the life my parents gave me...the life Danny and I have made for ourselves...and our three amazing children that have been given to us by the grace of God. Maybe I just need to stop forcing myself to "feel" the Christmas spirit and just let it come to me.
And maybe a little snow wouldn't hurt either...
