KoKo my constant companion

My sweet boy...10/24...and now he's gone. I'm hoping my Mom scooped him up right away and is keeping him safe with her until I get there. 

Losing two cats in the span of nine months has been deeply traumatic for me. Koko and Mikey were the loves of my life and just like children to me. I've been taking care of Koko for 17 of his 18 years. He was my constant companion and to not have him next to me after 17 long years is truly so incredibly painful. 

I will do a post to honor my boy when I'm up to it. But for now I will just say this...

I will never...ever...forgive myself for not making the right decision of letting him go before he went through the painful process of dying on his own. I will carry that guilt with me until the day I die. I made the decision to not spare him pain and discomfort just because I couldn't bear to let him go. Each day I would consider it and then I would somehow justify it in my mind that he was OK because he was still eating a little bit, drinking and using the litter box. He was still interacting with me too. Although it was very clear that he was failing each day. Then I also made the poor decision to leave the house for a while (over an hour away...so stupid) even when I knew of the weakened condition he was in. I wasn't even here when he passed. I didn't make it home in time even though I left the minute I knew he wasn't doing well. He wasn't alone...thank God...at least I made sure someone was home...but still...I wasn't by his side at the end. His Mama. His person. I made extremely poor selfish decisions and will live with deep regret for the rest of my life...knowing I made him suffer at the end of his life. 

Koko, Mama loves you for eternity. 

It will be OK

Our family has had a very rough week. I just keep saying this on repeat...

Unconditional

A Wedding

Julia's best friend, Kaylah, got married yesterday. They've been friends since middle school. This was Julia's first time being a bridesmaid. She has another wedding next summer...and I'm sure there will be lots more to follow. She's at that age...and so it begins. 

It was a stunning day yesterday. The wedding was at 4:30 in the afternoon in Bristol, RI right on the ocean. The wedding took place on the lawn and the reception was steps away in a beautiful white tent with lots of white lights. 

I loved my dress (for a change)...

The bride and the bridesmaids before the wedding...

Julia did her own makeup as well as her friend, Annie's...

The sun was just setting as the reception was getting underway so we took some nice pictures...

I love Julia's friends. They've all been friends since middle school. I've watched each of them grow up to be the most lovely young women. They'll all getting their master's degrees in the healthcare field along with Julia being a nurse! 

A little flashback to 2017 when they were all in middle school...now one is married and another is getting married next summer...

Here's the beautiful bride with one of her favorite people...

Julia choreographed a flash mob for Kaylah and Max to "Dancing Queen"...it was so fun!

Just a beautiful wedding : ) 

Reunion Weekend

My sister hosted a reunion at her Ogunquit home this past weekend...and it was fabulous! From the people to the food to the weather...just perfection!

She invited childhood, middle school and high school friends. They all knew each other, some better than others, but it didn't matter. They all laughed and cried and reminisced. I was so happy to witness such joy and all those special bonds. 

Most traveled quite a ways to get there...Hawaii was the furthest! They all showed up with so much excitement and gratitude. They were armed with yearbooks, photos, and all kinds of memorabilia...like these band jackets! I cannot believe two of them still had them from the '70's...and they still fit! Haha!

I remember all of them (with the exception of one) from my childhood. My sisters are 4 and 5 years older than me so I was their "little" sister. It was always so much fun having them over our house and bringing them all to our Grandfather's summer cottage on those hot summer days. My parents loved all of them. My Mom created such a loving, warm and safe space for all those kids to gather during the summer. They would spend the entire day just playing basketball or cards out on the lawn. Simply just hanging out. They called themselves "The Gang". My Dad was a fabulous mentor to some of those boys. There was one missing, Joe Gearty, who passed in a tragic car accident while on duty as a NH State Trooper. But Kimmy included him in the slide show and had pictures of him around her home. How wonderful it is to see everyone looking so healthy and happy in their 60's...

Her home was decorated so beautifully. Just every little detail was perfect...

Paula put my Grandfather's wheel from his cottage on Lake Archer for all to see. It used to be up on the second floor porch which overlooked the lake. He did that so he could feel like he was steering his "boat". He was such a clever man...

The next morning, some of us walked the Marginal Way. It was the most spectacular fall weather. I will never get over the beauty of Ogunquit...

After that we had a delicious (and very loooong) breakfast in Perkins Cove. While sitting outside at our table I was just taking in the absolute beauty of the day...and the trees in their full fall glory...

During breakfast, we got talking about some of our loved ones that have passed and signs they have showed us along the way. And then lo and behold...didn't Paula look up at the sky and see a rainbow! If that wasn't a sign in itself! How did that rainbow just appear in the sky above us when it was the clearest day? My picture doesn't do it justice...

Then Patty and I walked back up to the center of town to browse in a few stores...of course that had to include my favorite, Art & Soul...

What a weekend it was! As Kimmy would say, "What next"?!?!

You are here

 When I get there,

they will tell me 

they saw all of it.

And I'll say,

"I know, I felt you there." 

Homecoming & National Championship Ring Ceremony

A Nor'easter is blowing through this weekend which is Homecoming at Endicott. Oh well. We made the best of it and still had a great day! 

We started the day at the annual Athletic Championship Banner Ceremony. For the 25-26 season, Endicott had 11 teams that won their conference or division...football, baseball, men's basketball, dance, field hockey, men's and women's ice hockey, women's lacrosse, women's rugby, softball and men's volleyball. Pretty incredible!

The dance team revealing their regional championship banner...

And then the National Championship banner! They were the only team this year to win a National Title!

Then it was over to the VPAC for the National Championship Ring Reveal...

I love that both girls now have a ring!! Gianna has one more year to potentially win more!

Then it was time for the football game. At first it was just windy...then the rain started...and the dance team got soaked! But they made it through the whole game...sidelines, halftime and all! 

Halftime Performance! Love this one...