2006 was a very rough year for me personally. I'm so glad to see it go. It was a series of wakes and funerals for me.
1) My father-in-law died of cancer (November 2005).
2) My best friend lost her Dad to cancer.
3) A week later that same best friend lost her cousin to a massive heart attack. She was only in her thirties and had two small children. This totally freaked me out.
4) My cousin's husband committed suicide. They have a little girl the same age as my Julia, three-years-old at the time.
5) Two close friends lost grandparents.
6) My step-mother lost her mother.
7) My aunt was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer and died very soon after her diagnosis.
Then my Dad had two operations on his back and he continues to battle his multiple myeloma. He is in remission as we speak but there is no cure.
I wish I wasn't so fearful of death. I'm always so afraid of losing someone I love. Last year I was so freaked out by everything I went to the doctor and was put on a medication for my anxiety and panic attacks.
Overall I am feeling much better and more in control. I feel a lot stronger and refuse to live my life in fear of things I cannot control. So I have chosen to stop my medication. We'll see how it goes.
