It was so emotional to be in her presence and to see her hooked up to so many tubes and wires and machines. I walked to her bedside to let her know I was there and I got a nice response from her. Later on, Lauren and I were on either side of her just chatting and including Berta in on the conversation. I was telling Lauren how I wanted to bring Berta chocolate, which is her absolute favorite treat, and upon hearing the word "chocolate" she crinkled her eyes and nose! What a treat that was for us!
The oncologist came in to talk with the family about her prognosis and about starting treatment. Unfortunately he used the word "shocking" to describe her body scans. The cancer is so aggressive and is literally everywhere. She did start chemo today however and we are all relieved something is being done now. We are hopeful for a miracle.
When it was time to say our goodbyes, Lauren walked over and got a nice eyes and nose crinkling from Berta. When it was my turn, she was too weak to respond. I repeated her name a few times and then joked to Berta and Lauren that I wasn't leaving until I got a really good goodbye from her. I waited a few more seconds and repeated that it was me and I was leaving...and then the best thing of all happened. She lifted her right arm a bit and her left arm reached up pretty high and she crossed it over her body in the direction of my voice. She was giving me a hug goodbye. I know I got the most precious gift of all.
"God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease—smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see—but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance and comprehension. By his love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise."
There's always hope...I have to have hope.
