This podcast, "The psychology of people who love staying at home" by The Mindset Mentor Podcast, was the biggest "AHA moment" for me...like ever! Finally!! Someone who has described exactly why I feel the way I do and why I'm wired the way I am. One of my favorite YouTubers Gemma Louise Miles suggested this podcast because this is the way she is too. That's probably why she's one of my favorite YouTubers : )
I have been judged for not being social enough. But this guy is saying that my "craving to be home" (or to just be alone) is actually a sign of my "emotional intelligence" because it's actually about REST, RETREAT and RECHARGING.
Yes, I'm an introvert. By definition an introvert is an individual who gains energy through solitude or quiet, low stimulation environments and feels drained by prolonged social interaction. Yup, that is me! It does NOT mean I'm shy or antisocial. It just means that I prefer to focus on internal thoughts and feelings, often preferring one-on-one connections over large groups. I do enjoy socializing, but I need breaks to recover. Sometimes I just sit in a dark space, alone, in silence to help calm down and recharge.
This is what I learned about being an introvert and why I'm wired this way.
1. My nervous system feels safe when I'm at home. We live in a chronically overstimulated world, including other people's energy. He mentioned that introverts have a highly sensitive nervous system. The outside world can feel like a constant assault on the senses. He says it's my "intuitive regulation". Being at home (or being alone) is where I get to exhale. It's where I don't have to scan the room and put on an act for other people if I'm not feeling just right.
2 Recharge through solitude not socializing. I lose energy being around people, but I gain it by being in solitude. Extroverts gain energy from being around people whereas introverts get energy by being by themselves. It's because I notice everything. I'm super observant and pick up on everyone's energy around me. I notice facial expression, tones shifts, and moods very quickly. My brain is constantly observing all of that. That's why I need to get away from them and go somewhere where I feel safe (my home or even my car) to be alone and rest in a safe space. What I need is stillness.
3. Home is the first place that you might actually feel in control. Home is my safe place.
Instead of forcing myself to go out more, I should be asking myself, what does my nervous system actually need right now. Maybe it's socializing...maybe it's not.
What did I learn from this podcast? That being an introvert is OK. It's how I'm wired. I always felt like I had to defend myself. Well, no more.
